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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24005143">too many holes to swim through</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabriphales/pseuds/gabriphales'>gabriphales</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>gomens drabble hell [33]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drabble, Light Angst, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Possibly Unrequited Love, hurt/comfort if u squint</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:28:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>830</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24005143</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabriphales/pseuds/gabriphales</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>gabriel finds aziraphale in eden after the whole apple tree business. aziraphale's upset about it</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Gabriel (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>gomens drabble hell [33]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1664713</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>too many holes to swim through</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is literally nothing but gabriel and his feelings oops</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>he's sniffling. gabriel can hear him. tucked away in the grassy foliage, choking back tears like it'd do him harm to let them free. gabriel stumbles in closer, presses a few sprawling vines aside, ivy leaves too thick to be seen through, and finds aziraphale there. knees tucked to his chest, rubbing his tired eyes. he looks miserable. gabriel doesn't know what to say.</p>
<p>he settles on, "are you sick?" because apparently that's all he can manage for the time being.</p>
<p>aziraphale startles at his presence, looking up wide-eyed and nervous. "pardon?"</p>
<p>"are you sick? you sound sick. you're all red and flushed."</p>
<p>aziraphale blushes deeper then, obviously ashamed of something. gabriel wants to ask him what, gabriel wants to ask him <i>why,</i> but he's not sure if that's allowed. if aziraphale wouldn't shy further away from him for a reason gabriel might never understand. aziraphale's never been easy to comprehend. he's utterly complex, and gabriel - gabriel, who has only ever known one truth, and devotes his whole existence to it, has to wonder how aziraphale finds the effort to <i>question.</i> never being overt with it, always keeping himself within designated guidelines, he's an expert at being just <i>short</i> of too much.</p>
<p>gabriel doesn't get it. doesn't get why aziraphale won't just accept things as they are. but he also doesn't want to lose another angel. aziraphale's the only glimpse of life before the war left. he's retained his softness, his benevolence, his <i>trust.</i> sweet, vulnerable, <i>naive.</i> it's no wonder he failed his duties here in eden.</p>
<p>but gabriel wouldn't dare say that aloud. he has to have some self-restraint.</p>
<p>"i'm not - not ill, no, i'm sorry. i'm just - just worried." aziraphale tells him, that wet, scratchy sound in the back of his throat still polluting every word he speaks. if gabriel had known that's what crying does to human body, he wouldn't have pondered over it. of course, gabriel doesn't even know what crying is. and he won't, not for a solid decade more.</p>
<p>"about what?" gabriel says, praying his tone doesn't smart. he's been told on numerous occasions that his temper often gets the better of him - making appearances even when he thinks he's hidden it well under his tongue.</p>
<p>aziraphale's expression turns wretched, and his lower lip wobbles in a way that makes gabriel's chest soften painfully, the space behind his ribs overheating. he won't come to recognize this as pity, but that's definitely what it is. and gabriel aches with it, gabriel <i>burns.</i></p>
<p>"am i going to fall? because i failed?" aziraphale asks him.</p>
<p>"of course not." gabriel says, though he's not quite sure himself. "only angels who stray from their faith in the almighty fall from her grace. you're still faithful, yeah?"</p>
<p>aziraphale nods quietly. that pout still hasn't left his mouth. it's making gabriel sick. </p>
<p>"then you're fine. nothing to get all worked up over." gabriel exclaims, patting aziraphale on the back just a little too good-naturedly. he pretends he doesn't notice the way aziraphale jolts from it.</p>
<p>"besides, michael's already figured out your station down here. you're to stay on earth, battling the forces of evil. smiting demons, should you come across them - which you will."</p>
<p>aziraphale smiles, then, and gabriel isn't sure if he likes that better than his frown. "then i don't have to go back home? not for a while?"</p>
<p>"definitely," gabriel confirms, unsettled at the undertone of excitement in aziraphale's voice. doesn't he like heaven, doesn't he like being around his fellow angels? doesn't he like <i>gabriel?</i> surely he must, everybody likes gabriel. gabriel's smart, and strong, sure-footed in any situation. he'd been handpicked by the almighty himself. aziraphale has to like him, there's no other way, nothing good has ever existed before that didn't like him.</p>
<p>and gabriel's certain aziraphale must be good. because there's something shiny in his eyes that pricks gabriel's chest open, and when his cheeks get all rosy it's like gabriel can feel their warmth without having to touch, and nothing that feels so <i>right</i> could ever be wrong. not if it's gabriel feeling it.</p>
<p>"well then," aziraphale rises, wiping his eyes for the final time, and dusting his robes down. "lovely talk, i wouldn't want to keep you any longer. feel free to be on your way. take care!"</p>
<p>gabriel feels an awful lot like he's being told to go home, feels like he's being rejected, but he doesn't linger on it. instead, he preoccupies himself with thoughts of how tears had made aziraphale's eyes even shinier, and how his fingers felt across his skin when he shook gabriel's hand goodbye. it's pleasant material to reap more of that special warmth from. and gabriel decides he ought to make <i>regular</i> check-in's on earth, just to ensure aziraphale's safety. just to feel more of his sunlike heat.</p>
<p>gabriel won't realize what he's feeling is, in simplest human terms, a <i>crush,</i> until it's far too late. just one mistake of many he'll make with aziraphale.</p>
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